Monkey See, Monkey Drew

It's a common enough story: a young lad enters show biz, becomes popular, picks up some bad habits along the way, fathers a bunch of kids out of wedlock despite the fact that he is monkey-ugly, becomes angry as his addiction grows while his popularity plummets, lets his temper get the best of him.  He hits rock bottom when he resorts to hassling random passers-by for booze.  His career in the toilet, he enter rehab, cleans himself up, and releases a statement to the press that he is sober and ready to return to work.


If you didn't know any better you'd swear I was talking about someone like Steven Tyler, Vanilla Ice, or any one of a number of Baldwin brothers.

You'd be wrong.

Of course, I am referring to Zhora the Circus Chimp.  It seems Zhora was a prominent circus performer who couldn't control his anger, so was shipped off to a zoo.  While there, he learned how to draw and became quite popular.  With popularity came excess, and he took to the bottle and cigarettes like any good artist would.  Also like any accomplished artist, he let his vices interfere with his art, and was reduced to lying on the ground, semi-conscious, harassing anybody who happened for spare change "so I can get some gas in my car so I can buy diapers for my baby."

Now he's in rehab.

I have seen enough episodes of "Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew" to know that half of cleaning up is crying while in group therapy and the other half is blaming your parents for a crummy upbringing.  I don't know how Zhora is going to accomplish either of these two because, well, he's a chimp and I don't think Dr. Drew speaks monkey.  The early Vegas line is even on whether Zhora's comeback will be more successful than Tiger's.

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This page contains a single entry by Louis Core published on March 1, 2010 10:37 AM.

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